Emotional Dysregulation aka Temper Tantrums 💣

Emotional Dysregulation (aka The Temper Tantrum)

We have all been the guilty party of a "temper tantrum" or on the receiving end of one (or several ones).

It isn't pleasant. If you're the one having the 'meltdown,' feelings of guilt and shame are sure to follow.

That is, if you're self-aware.

Many people don't realize that emotional dysregulation is not intentional and is most certainly not enjoyable.

It often results from many stressors and overstimulations, which then lead to an emotional explosion.

Like an overinflated balloon, we become overstimulated— and *POP* we explode 🤯.

The issue is the aftermath. ADHDers have big emotions and have trouble managing them. When we feel anger, we feel it in our whole body.

Add rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD); we are a ball of emotional rage.

A meltdown or temper tantrum results from several little annoyances, negative interactions, sensory overstimulation, and invasive thoughts.

So how do we avoid the 'Meltdown' or 'temper tantrum'?

In my experience, prevention is the best approach.

Prevention requires daily management, self-reflection, and rage outlets.

Here is how I create a system to regulate my emotions:

💡 Keep a journal or log. (Journaling can be a powerful tool for identifying triggers and behavioral patterns. We experience our emotions in waves, and self-awareness enables prevention.)

💡 Be transparent with those around you. (Unresolved emotions build up. Let others know if you're having an off day. People respond well to authenticity, and keeping people in the loop allows them to add context to the situation.)

💡 Reschedule important meetings when possible when you are angry or upset. (We tend not to have the best poker faces, and our energy shifts are very noticeable. If you are a business owner, this will only strengthen your leadership style as it instills trust and emotional intelligence).

💡 Give yourself space and time to process your emotions. (Processing our emotions means giving ourselves the power to feel our anger/upset and allow it to leave our bodies.)

ADHDer Katie 🌭 McManus has a great podcast on the difference between processing and intellectualizing our emotions.

💡 Find an outlet for your emotions and incorporate it into your routine. (This avoids emotional build-up and lets you clear your head to make informed decisions and prevent meltdowns. Outlets can be anything if they provide a place to release and unwind. Some people choose sports, some choose artistic endeavors, and others want to break stuff.

If you are in the NYC area and want to break stuff, here is a list of rage rooms:

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My outlet? A nice glass of wine! 🍷

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